We all learn our lessons, but only you decide how you want to learn them.
Derek O’Neill
I am ignorant! This statement brings a lot of inner liberation, and the more we become aware that we are all ignorant in our own way, the sooner we can change it – and it won’t bite us in the bum anymore. That’s why the phrase “ignorance is bliss” is only half true up to a certain point in our lives because if we want to evolve, and that’s what we’re here for, regardless of whether we consciously want to or not, we can’t run away from our lessons.
I’ve lived in Bali since the pandemic, with a few stops in between, and I’ve always had an aversion to bureaucracy. However, everything always worked out great, so I got through entry and exit during my stay without any problems. Nevertheless, some things were still unresolved, and even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself, there was always a tiny, invisible, oppressive feeling inside me.
The last few weeks, mainly, have been very significant in terms of the current energy. We’ve had a couple of solar eclipses, and Mercury is retrograde again. Our to-do lists have been getting longer and longer, and we’ve been restlessly jumping from A to B as if we haven’t had time to breathe. What’s unique about this time is that we can create our future in new ways and balance our karmic debts from the past, learn from them, and let them go. However, it is important how we learn them. If we face them with fear and despair, we stay there. If we meet them with humor and love, another door opens for us. So it may be that old stories, people, patterns, fears… resurface during this time to be looked at more closely because it is ALWAYS about our personal growth.
Last week, while walking my dog Pizza to our favorite waterfall, I suddenly started hearing loud pig noises. I stopped and didn’t know if I wanted to keep walking because I realized they were being slaughtered. After a few minutes, the noises stopped, and I knew: Oh, oh. I’m ignorant somewhere in my life – because the pig stands for ignorance in spiritual teachings.
Discussing bureaucratic matters in German was one thing; doing it in English was another, and that’s why I put it off for so long and didn’t take it seriously enough until almost a week ago.
I knew it was time to take care of my visa because I had it in my head that I had to leave the country at the end of April and re-enter. Typical island hopping. But I also knew something wasn’t right, so I finally took care of it at the beginning of April and contacted my agency. “Phew, that doesn’t look good for you,” was my agent’s reply, and an inner feeling of certainty and a “yes, I know” started to spread through me. “Let me talk to our top boss, and I’ll get back to you,” she said, ending our conversation.
Last year, I got a new visa valid for six months. However, I would have had to renew this visa every two months, which I didn’t do. My agency would have helped me remember this, but I had yet to tell my agency I entered Bali, which I didn’t do either. Previously, I had a two-year visa where I didn’t have to worry about anything, and just the thought of sitting in immigration for hours was annoying. Ignorance.
In the meantime, I checked with a few friends and other agencies, and they confirmed that there were really only two options: either get deported from Bali forever or pay a lot of money. Finally, I met with the agency’s top boss and learned he had Indonesia’s best contacts. It’s no secret that the bureaucracy in Indonesia is organized differently than in the Western world, so he offered me the best price while assuring me that I wouldn’t suddenly be arrested at the airport. You never know here.
To shorten the story, I’ll fast forward a little: I spent my last 48 hours at immigration in Lombok and Malaysia. I had to fly to Malaysia for one night to be allowed back into Indonesia. The officers were all very nice to me, and they smiled when they greeted me at the airport in Lombok and put a stamp with a valid visa next to the “deportation” stamp. They already knew through my agent and the other officers, and my honesty made it easier. “How could this happen?” a police officer asked me. “I was ignorant,” was my answer, and he laughed: “We all are sometimes.”
Mein Visa-Schlamassel machte schnell die Runde in meinem engen Freundeskreis auf Bali. Mein Nachbar, neugierig wie er ist, rief mich an, um mehr zu erfahren. Ich erzählte ihm, was passiert war, und machte kein Geheimnis daraus, denn ich schämte mich nicht dafür. Im Gegenteil, ich musste in den sauren Apfel beißen und die Konsequenzen tragen und ich wusste auch, dass mir das von nun an nicht mehr passieren würde. Aber sollte ich jetzt in Verzweiflung oder negative Selbstgespräche verfallen? Nein. Ich vertraue zu sehr darauf, dass alles FÜR MICH und nicht GEGEN MICH geschieht. Schließlich habe ich Mist gebaut und wenn ich ehrlich bin, war ich innerlich auch ziemlich glücklich, weil ich wusste, dass ich die Chance hatte, einen großen karmischen Samen zu ziehen, der aufgrund meiner Einstellung einen großen Einfluss auf meine Zukunft haben würde. Deshalb ließ mich die Projektionsfläche, die meine Lektion auf andere hat, ziemlich unbeeindruckt und ich antwortete auf seine Aussage: “Das muss dir wirklich peinlich sein.” Mit einem: “Nein, ist es nicht. Warum?”
Ich kann mich noch gut an die Szene mit einem Freund von mir erinnern. Wir standen am Strand von Bali und schauten aufs Meer hinaus. Das Meer war ruhig und wir genossen den Sonnenuntergang, bis ich ihn fragte, ob er an Reinkarnation oder frühere Leben glaube. Er antwortete “Nein”, und keine Minute später traf ihn eine Welle mitten ins Gesicht. Ich blieb vergleichsweise trocken und wir mussten beide laut loslachen.
Wo in deinem Leben bist du eingeladen, deine eigene Ignoranz zu betrachten? Ist es dein Essverhalten, die Art, wie du Mutter Erde behandelst und regelmäßig vergisst, das Licht auszuschalten, wenn du den Raum verlässt? Ist es in der Liebe? Bist du ignorant gegenüber deinen Gefühlen? Bei der Wahl deines Partners? Andere Perspektiven, Ansichten, Denkweisen? Wo willst du nicht genauer hinschauen? Alles ist in Ordnung, aber wir sollten uns nicht wundern, wenn unser Handeln oder Nichthandeln Konsequenzen hat. Deshalb sind wir alle mehr denn je gefordert, mehr in unsere wahre maskuline Energie zu treten und die Verantwortung für unsere Entscheidungen und Handlungen zu übernehmen und aufzuhören, mit dem Finger auf andere zu zeigen – egal, in welcher Situation wir uns befinden.
Die Lektion hat wehgetan, keine Frage. Aber ich vertraue und das kannst du auch und ich hoffe, dass ich auch dir ein Lächeln ins Gesicht zaubern konnte. Auch wenn mein Budget im Moment keine zwei Wochen Luxus auf Lombok hergibt, gönne ich meiner Seele das jetzt wenigstens für ein paar Tage.
Es ist dein Leben. Dein Karma, dein Schicksal, deine Lektionen und deine Entscheidungen! Do you. For you. Live life on your own terms.
Trust in trust, faith in faith. Always.
“To those steadfast in love and devotion, I give spiritual wisdom, so that they may come to me.
Out of compassion I destroy the darkness of their ignorance. From within them I light the lamp of wisdom and dispel all darkness from their lives.”
Krishna
With love, always!
Arabella
